That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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