if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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