Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
