why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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