And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
