So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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