I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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