hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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