you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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