My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
