Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
