In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
