I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
