Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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