Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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