seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
