Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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