I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize