Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
