if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
