i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
this just has baby written all over it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
