I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize