just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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