Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
