Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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