She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Tell her she can't have a vagina
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize