Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize