i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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