bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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