btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize