Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That accounts for only three of the penises
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
