You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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