I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
