did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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