if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm just crazy horny about you
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
