i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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