I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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