Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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