I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
