Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
