Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
