THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
