There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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