if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
