i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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