this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
