Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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