Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
