I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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