So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
