Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
