fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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