So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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