i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize
