You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
