youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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