Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
