What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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