my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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