I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
