Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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