You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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