Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish I only lived at night.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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