And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
