Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
