Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
