What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
