He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
